Friday, August 12, 2016

Losing My Voice

Woke up and no word could come out
My brain bombarded by thoughts
Good thoughts, bad thoughts, ugly thoughts
Good thoughts like I´m alive
Bad thoughts like I hate feeling this emptiness
Ugly thoughts like I wish I had never fell into this void
Woke up and no word could come out
Felt helpless and so weak
Felt like nothing
A “nothing” person
A “nothing” woman
A nothing that can´t be loved
A nothing that was tossed when less expected
Woke up and no word could come out
And a “larme” rolled over my face
A “larme” then multiplied into an ocean
A gloomy hurricane of emotions trapped me
Woke up and no word could come out
Not that word that I used to say, “babe”
Not those words that I used to say, “I love you”
Woke up and no word could come out
Just silence and weakness
And then out of nowhere
Here I am with no voice, but with hope
Here I am with no voice, but immensely stronger
Here I am a “nothing” with no voice, but climbing “Everest” little by little
Yes, you are gone, but I´m still here
Yes, I have no voice, but I´m still me
Got my way lost, but I´m finding it back somehow
Woke up and no word could come out
But here I am writing this poem not to you, but to me!
Here I am rediscovering, reinventing, redefining who I am
Here I am with no voice, with a mighty heart
Losing my voice, losing you…how long can this last?
Not much because this is me who we´re talking about!
A nothing who is something
A nothing who is something without you
Losing my voice, losing you…how hard could it be?
Yes, I loved you! But it is not all about you anymore!
Here I am and I want to sing!
Here I am and I´m ready to rise and show you that you never defined me
Here I am…sorry! Not to show you anything, but to show me the beautiful “nothing” I am
LOSING MY VOICE WON´T LAST FOREVER!

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